Customers Serviced

Dear I’m Si Senor,

Long time Chillanova Blood Pact, Black Magic and Video sharing club, first time writing. So I read your review of Ghost Dad, pretty glowing, especially with their mockery of vegetarians. Man are they stupid, I mean if your so healthy than why aren’t you outside. I know, cause it takes hours to cook flavor into your stupid, “Vegetable Birthday” or “Critical Mass.” Well turns out this movie only good when your high, so wheres my grass dud.

Fern Harvey

Dear Miso,

I signed up for  your People’s Temple Agricultural Experiment and Video Sharing club and was quite offended by the video I received. I planted my precious little cat, Becky, in front of what I thought was Video Catnip, but was instead some offensive medieval breast filled romp through mis-history. As a Grand Master of the Dark Ages and avid WOW player I was not only appalled by the movie’s inaccuracy, but also the shameless distasteful nip-slips. I DO NOT LIKE TO BE SEXUALLY AROUSED! It distracts me from my blogs.

Gertrude Hyman Theodore


I love being part of the Greater Monterey Babe Tape Sharing Cooperative and Bike Ignoring Collective. Totally great sending me a copy of Robocop 3 that was actually 3 hours of NBC from 1998. How does the trilogy end anyways.

Chill Roy Carson

Dear Burn RV, Pure Lube Trying to Pee More and Kill Joy Cop’s son,

802 Flavors aka Chris Jones Free Jazz Ensemble and Video Rental Band aka Rite Aid has now closed due to bitching. Please forward your requests and questions to John, he’ll program the solutions or something, then Roy will make a foot pedal that will make a guitar send you your bill. I’m working on acquisitions right now at SPCA, while Craig and Darach is running the toxicology report on throwing VHS in the river vs burning them.


Regional Manager,

SS No Joke, Ha!






About asksimi

Simi is a wise and mysterious figure who's wisdom is only exceeded by his mystery. Mystical powers abound, his knowledge has healed the sick and amused the boring. I am his humble typist. Also a student at SJSU in MLIS.
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