Awe, Cute Pie Wally!

Dear 53% Simi,

You’re a hard workin’, never dine out, live within there means kinda, never bitching leather clad freedom lover aren’t you Simi. You don’t throw away your time and money on antiquated trinkets to ‘decorate’ your house, to make it ‘livable’. You appreciate staying at home and eating frozen food, never talking to women and never seeing the doctor because you’re afraid to know your sick (in fact my doctor is a woman making it double treasonous to see her). I mean yeah I have a lot of debt too, but it’s not i want to get paid more for my work, that’ll never work! Things are fine, the system has proven to work. Just ask I’n Rad, Lipton Freedom, or the Crotch Brothers, they’ll tell yea what’s real! I can’t understand all the hububububoo about Occupy Wall street. More like Ought to try salt meat if you ask me (salted meats are much more cost effective than fresh). Let one of those freedom farts rip on those yippie yank-offs you jean wearing complacent work guy!

Sincerely, Harvey 53% Bonner

Dear Hardly just over half boner,

How’d you know I wear jeans?! You must be really smart I think! So you’re right about this Wall street junk I guess. Can’t be sure though, you did suggest an alternative food which probably means your a red-green Christmas hating lefter. Just kidding, I have lots of friends who feel guilty about being rich too so I get it. I’m with it. Yeah me you and the other 52% are gonna rock Wall Street! Tell those nihilist puppet show making, credit bearing, body using people to get relative who can get them a job. Who lives in house these days anyways? The nerve. And then I’ll just drone out with my guitar pedals, cause hippies hate that shit. Then I’ll patch things though my new computer’s 12 Dubstep program, and then they’ll really be hurting. Attack them with wobbling sub-sonic bass synth tones that not only hurt hippies, but also make bald eagle shells crack and die. You’re right Harvey I am American, well, no, no! yeah I am. I just never felt that way till you pointed out how much leather I wear, and how often I stay home. Wanna come over, last episode of MSCL and a leather pants are calling you!

Land of the few, the proud and Simi

PS. bring wine!




About asksimi

Simi is a wise and mysterious figure who's wisdom is only exceeded by his mystery. Mystical powers abound, his knowledge has healed the sick and amused the boring. I am his humble typist. Also a student at SJSU in MLIS.
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