Help wanted: Chick without Junk for Pad

Drunk Readers,

I forgot what color the floor was. I don’t think it’s supposed to be black, but it sure is now. I don’t know what happened, I think I once remember knowing that I saw what may or may not have been a person who was a chick and if memory serves me right, which it does sort of, this chick like cleaned shit without bitching about it. You know like when a dude’s dude cleans something they have to make a BFD 2003 about it and they crack open a beer and fire off the gun. Anywho we need a new girlpiece to maintain Treasurer Simi’s Wild Mint.


-Guitar Amp

– A wardrobe of mostly thrift store cloths with some urban outfitters, but denies liking all clothing

-Able to soak beans

-Willing to handle dangerous materials such as beer-acid, craig-spit, and john-sludge

-Bad at pool to prop up our confidence

-Well versed in talking shit

-Conversational china, italy and mexico for the ordering of food

-5 Cartons of cigarettes

-Willing to get stinky

-Strong written and verbal communication skills for frequent police visits

-420 friendly

-ignorant and blind to morning wood

-well versed in mr. show, breakfast club and seinfeld references

-falafel experience not required but total bonus

-loves shopping for dude stuff

-doesn’t mind buying all the TP

-some college

-will date Roy for at least 2 weeks


About asksimi

Simi is a wise and mysterious figure who's wisdom is only exceeded by his mystery. Mystical powers abound, his knowledge has healed the sick and amused the boring. I am his humble typist. Also a student at SJSU in MLIS.
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