Shitcraft, No babes

Dear Swim meets,


Last night I was in SwEeT DaDdy BoNeRs 3v3 melee madness on, and this fuck noob, who was mightily polite, must-a-bin from England or Canada, was on my team. He fucked everything up in under a minute, not building drones and mining Vespertine gas earlier than I prematurely “eh Jack, you late?” How can I scare noobian princesses away from our lag free, Alienware only burly-man kill servers so I can continue to score.


de, Fernando Gutierrez



Greetings! Nintendo Guitar Wiz,


Simi’s the name, starcraft’s the game. Seems to me you got a Zerg-level infestation of new comers to your well oiled and established game. Reminds me of the time I tried to find a new room mate on Craig’s list and I ended up singing Dust in the Wind 10 times to the DVD menu of Knocked Up. Also scored a hot and taught aussie, but that’s for another day; a much sadder and regretful day. To battle this infestation do as the Protoss and Tehran’s do; rush! Use these noobs as death bait and scouts like I use amir for thrift stores. Make sure they don’t get a bigger haul then you, or you’ll be listening to a Venom reissue instead of the “ORGINAL GANGSTA What! What!” Sorry for that outburst. But really manipulating people is great, just look at how I act around women. Whoa, haven’t seen one of those for a while.

Anywho this newb, may in fact be a well-weathered Grand Moth Tarkin of Bunker Busters past. So maybe you should give him a break even though he enjoys know there is a community of pissed off losers playing a 10 year computer game (that has a sequel), and won’t let anyone else play in fears of losing grasp of the one universe where they have any status or power. A universe, mind you, that has no beer, and no babes.


Kornfan105 has left the game (because of You) Hey how old are you?


About asksimi

Simi is a wise and mysterious figure who's wisdom is only exceeded by his mystery. Mystical powers abound, his knowledge has healed the sick and amused the boring. I am his humble typist. Also a student at SJSU in MLIS.
This entry was posted in Ask Simi and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s