A Real Question For Once

Dear Simi,

I’m always all pop-punk songs are written about me. What should I do?

Ben P. Mear

Dear Men Pee Beer,

Looks like I once again must dive into my roommates short-lived stint into gender studies to delicately answer this question. Do you see yourself as the object, often the female causing  pain on the singer, or the subject, the actual band themselves? I could never relate to a pop punk band, their lack of delay pedals deeply offend me. But I can see the desire to hold onto adolescent feelings and delaying full acceptance of adulthood to cull the feelings of disappointment and responsibility that come with adulthood. Things were so much more exciting when I was young. I had long hair, listened to extreme music, and fucked shit up on the daily to quell my sexual frustration. Now I deny that I have sexual frustration at all, leaving out my key motivator that lead me to fuck shit up, leaving me docile and sleepy from a day of mixing genes.  Could it be that I’ve lost my youth. Am I trying to buy it in stacks of VHS’s

As for you, well, you may have a latent desire to start a band yourself and it’s coming out as you imagining yourself to be in the mindset of the pop punk singer. Maybe you should just learn an instrument, now that you have the time. Too bad I’m not in a band then I’d start one with yah. Could call it Produce Pals, or Burger Buddies, or San Luis Abysmal.



About asksimi

Simi is a wise and mysterious figure who's wisdom is only exceeded by his mystery. Mystical powers abound, his knowledge has healed the sick and amused the boring. I am his humble typist. Also a student at SJSU in MLIS.
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