Sprung Cleaning

Dear Sweet Pea,

I’ve just got such a clutter happening in my cozy little home right now. Such a clutter. Well my minimalist daughter is trying to get me throw everything away, even the rat poo. How can I convince her that I need to save all my precious little heirlooms from misunderstandings so long ago?

Mother Goose

Goose To Mother Goose,

I face this same struggle everyday, with my ever growing collection of crap and misplaced religious memorabilia from religions I don’t practice and often scantily support. Sounds like your daughter wants, ‘Space’ and ‘light’ in your home instead of being horrified everytime she enters the living room, tripping over a stack of magazines,  to fall into a few dooped brews (that night was so raad), and then knock over another box of cassettes, half of which even I don’t like anymore.  Houses are not spaces to be lived in, but to be filled with rad shit, like a museum to yourself. Then when people come over they can see how cool you are, that you spend all of your free time in thrift stores instead of buying erroneous soap or worse yet a new toothbrush. Tell your daughter to skip the trip to the dump, take a dump so she chills the fuck out, and then tell her some stories about how that embroidered tree painting is really a commentary on Cold War living in Nebraska. Stick that in your dissertation and chew on tapes. Hey that reminds me, I have all the components to start a 1940’s era recording studio in my garage and they are all broken. SICK! Fuck Digital! Except for the reverb. and the delay.

Tapes duplicated by simi since purchasing a tape duplicator that should be at KDVS 90.3 for the public to use- 0.00


About asksimi

Simi is a wise and mysterious figure who's wisdom is only exceeded by his mystery. Mystical powers abound, his knowledge has healed the sick and amused the boring. I am his humble typist. Also a student at SJSU in MLIS.
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