Femination Rumination

Dearest Slimi

Mary jesus and joseph I’ve just been so fucked out my life right now. I mean you know how teens are. It’s like, “Go take your pre-packaged suburban lifestyle and eat pancakes, but I want to live and free love back.” I’m connected from the ground but so isolated from the air you know. I don’t eat boys, I need them. But I guess that doesn’t matter now. Everything around us used to be someone’s dream, but where’s my rape fantasy. My mom’s not the bitch, my dad’s the pussy. I’ve been sick to my feet, rubbing pumpkin butter on my legs, but the hair remains. I wish I were pretty like you, but you’re dead.

So anyways, I’ve been trying to disk my V-card to my neighbor stud pole, but no matter how many cigarettes I smoke in a bikini, Trip Fountain won’t give me the time. Do I need to own a pool or something? Can’t I just dig a hole when it rains and he can clean out the bottles? It must be the shape of my butt, it’s a heart, but like a broken heart. I guess that’s how I poo. I’ll stop pooping. I love my mom.  I live my mom.

Dominique Opulencia

Dear Dominate Fuck You Less You Know,

You one weird momma, momma. This isn’t your diary, dawg. I’ll tell you what I told Mandy Moore, when her best friend got pregnant with that dead guy’s baby, “What did the hippie say when you asked him to leave your house? Namaste”

See me at Ignat’s house Feb 25th as Gaarth.


About asksimi

Simi is a wise and mysterious figure who's wisdom is only exceeded by his mystery. Mystical powers abound, his knowledge has healed the sick and amused the boring. I am his humble typist. Also a student at SJSU in MLIS.
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